i got a final write up for time and attendance today at work today. three absences in thirty days. 3 am is killing me. basically i slept through my alarm three times this month. the first time i was sick and called them and told them i couldn't come in AFTER the start of my shift. it still counts as a no call no show. the other two i showed up to work over half an hour after the start of my scheduled shift, (ok so i was like 4 and 3 hours late but) i stayed late to make up the time. i was also told that i can't change my schedule. i am stuck at 3 am, or they might change it to 4am. basically i viewed it as i got fired today and cried a lot. i am tearing up again now, dammit i thought i got it stopped. i am set up for completely impossible odds. this write up lasts 6 months and i just can't do 3am. my heart is a bit broken.

the day before yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of my father's death. it is definitely further complicating my coping skills at the moment. i just keep thinking of what he would see if he saw me today. i feel like i have made no progress in my life since he passed. i think i am still further back then i was the last time i was with him.

so when i got written up i just broke a bit a think. it's not even a really intense crying. just kind of a slow leak that i can't seem to get to stay stopped.

did i mention that i have gotten a total of 5 hours of sleep in the past two days? not helping.

i've stopped crying! i think i might be dehydrated. i am drinking some water and taking a show and going to bed... i am sure other stuff will happen too before then, but i am sleeping early today. i don't [YAWN] think i have any choice in the matter. i hope i fall asleep early enough to wake up for the alarm. though i think at this point i am too tired to care.

have you ever looked something up that you were pretty sure about but you just needed that little bit of extra reassurance that comes when you see someone else confirm something you already knew?

Captive snake laying eggs?

I think I might want "Holy Mary Mother of Snakes!" to be my catchphrase... or someone's catch phrase. lol

01. Anyone who looks at this entry has to post this meme and their current wallpaper at their livejournal (no, you don't).
02. Explain in five sentences why you're using that wallpaper. (only if you feel like it)
03. Don't change your wallpaper before doing this. The point is to see what you have.



My desktop wallpapers is an image of the pond by my brother's house that I believe I took late last summer. I think it was one of the last nice days before autumn started to fall. It was either a day I worked early, or more likely a day I was off and I didn't feel like I had accomplished anything and decided that a walk to the pond would fix that. It was my desktop image all through winter, and now I think i shall soon change it to a picture from the bike ride to Wawa. The purple on the sides is from the glare spot at the bottom, because I have a wide screen laptop and it was a pretty color from within the image.

* * * *

In other news I feel the flow of live is carrying me faster then I can handle. There's a bend up ahead and I fear shit's creek lies around the turn and I've misplaced my last paddle. Not sure how this is going to work out... but hey, I'm resourceful right?

You Are Dramatic

You are colorful and charismatic. You get and hold people's attention. Right now, you are seeking a new challenge and a complete life change. You are drawn to people who are passionate and deep. You feel like there are many major things in your life that need to be changed. You make a lot of course corrections in your life. Your first reaction is usually not your final verdict.

i am in the process of change as a matter of fact. started with my hair, by the end of the month hopefully there will be a lot of good changes.

This kid is awesome!

The link will lead you to a gsa_lj post by misterc about Ethan McNamee, a third grader who didn't understand why gay people can't get married. He organized a rally today. There is a you tube in the post to hear what the young man has to say. Impressive, though he needed a clipboard or little podium.

i ♥ this mood theme.

Poll #1392636 amazon fail?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

I got am email from amazon advertizing the complete series of Angel on sale today only for $56.99. It is my understanding that they have made some correction to their fail, but they still failed (miserably). So my question is what should I do?

The givens in the above are that I definitely should be asleep and not posting and I shouldn't be spending money as I need to save to move. Also, I have greatly been wanting to watch Angel since Andy Hallet passed away.

P.S. Please respond soon, there is a deadline of midnight for me to make a decision.

really i found it by accident. it's about two years old, but really i can't tell you how much i ♥ it. =D

a video featuring judy shepard asking us to write to your U.S. senator (if you live there and all) to pass an inclusive hate crime bill.

http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/campaign/hate_crimes_senate/forward/wi338w3z0jwnmb78?

i am posting from lj mobile so i don't have links but amazon is dead to me. coworker said her friend deleted her account with the reason being their discriminatiobn against homosexuals and was told her reason was unacceptable because she used profanity. apparently homosexual is profanity.

so i was just bouncing through it's always sunny clips and behind the scenes stuff on hulu (all of the episodes aren't up because of copyright violations or whatever). the point is i just found a clip on hulu of the it's always sunny in philadelphia with damon lindelof as the panel host/moderator person. it made me ridiculously happy. it also made me a little sad that i have yet to make it to a comic con. though from what i have heard just the sheer number of people there would probably put me into a crowd induced panic attack but whatever.

time for work. peace.

really i think the whole thing is getting blown completely out of proportion.

the man smoked a bong he didn't steal cable or drown kittens. and you know what? i'm sure that as a swimmer the boy has one hell of a lung capacity! that must have been sweet. i also thinks that this might just make him the most accomplished stoner of all times. if anything personally i am more impressed with him than ever.

in a completely different vain as much as PETA annoys the living shit out of me i gotta say wOOt prince is the sexiest vegetarian in the world. :D go prince.

still haven't seen lost but probably watch it tonight.

p.s. don't you hate when your post covers more than one mood and even an awesome mood theme doesn't cover it?

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a Self-Improving Extroverted Tree Hugger

had to post that one for the LOLZ. me a tree hugger?

( Who comments the most on this journal? )

so while the computer was broken i read twilight. ( why i say this... not really spoilerish per say but i have OPINIONS! *gasp* )

1. is YIM not letting you sign on too, or is it just me?

2. ever since the other day when half my friends list apparently almost lost their LJ layouts i apparently lost the color for links. on my layout my text is pink and my links are supposed to be lavenderish... now it is all pink and i only know when there is a link if i hover over it... it is annoying.

I ♥ THIS!



(sorry to the peeps on both our friends lists but there are quite a few peeps that aren't duplicates that will appreciate this... and it made me HAPPY!)

stolen from waqaychay